you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
