this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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