it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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