I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
