"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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