I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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