when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
