You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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