Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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