I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
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he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
We have so much sex to catch up on
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I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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