Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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