I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize