My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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