So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
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I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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