I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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