What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
...so i touched it.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
