see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
