ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
