the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
