I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I enjoy the company of your penis
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
