I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
