Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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