Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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