so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
