i think i have two assholes
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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