I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
