your room smells of hookers.
And success
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
