She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize