Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
