My sheets look like a crime scene.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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