I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
