How'd it feel making her break her religion?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
