i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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