Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize
