Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
