BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
