The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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