Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
