the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Randomize
