don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
