I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
