Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
