she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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