He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
It's never too late to be topless.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
