Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
