dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
