and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
