my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize
