finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
