You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
