I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
