We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize