I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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