i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Randomize
