You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
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