i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
