9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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