Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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