So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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