He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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